Monday, March 14, 2011

The "Yes" Conundrum

I know I'm not alone in this. I cannot possibly be the only person in the world who can't seem to say "No" to people. Okay, so I don't have any trouble saying "No" to drugs and other illegal activities, but I can't seem to say it to anything else. I spread myself so thin that I don't seem to have anything left to give. I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted and lack the time to take care of the physical.

The biggest problem is that I kind of need to say "Yes" to people. If I didn't, I'd contently spend my life alone in my room reading and writing, and then I'd have no experience to write about and learn nothing new to develop my writing. Plus, I'd go crazy and not even realize what was happening.

The key word missing from my life? Balance. To have a balanced life, I don't need to summarily say either "Yes" or "No" to everything that comes my way. But I need to learn how to discern what are opportunities to learn, provide service, further my personal goals, cultivate friendships and what is just filler.

Yeah, like that'll happen.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

One Year Ago Today...

I still miss Ashley. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. There's still this hole in my heart her smile and laugh and sassy ways used to fill. My brain knows that she's in a better place--no longer suffering, probably smiling that same mischievous smile--but my heart still wants her with us.

The void the death of a loved one leaves is never truly filled. Christmas just isn't the same without my grandmother giving me pajamas or a crochet scarf. I still get a lump in my throat when I look at pictures of my friend Elizabeth who died our senior year in high school. My Uncle Bernie, Prince, Mrs. Flame. They all had a part in making me who I am, and I wish I had one more chance to let each of them know how much they mean to me.

So today I mourn. But tomorrow I live.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Welcome Back, Bloggers!

It's been one month since my last post. And it was a totally exhausting month. I used those 28 days to prepare my SCBWI WIP Grant application (which goes in the mail tomorrow), get through our big conference for work (which I'm still catching up on work emails I received during that week) and write up a storm (which I actually did). Unfortunately, I also spent the last week of February flat on my back with the worst case of bronchitis and laryngitis I have had in years. In fact, the last time I was that sick was during the great pneumonia debacle three years ago.

Needless to say, I'm happy I stepped away from the blog-o-sphere for that long. I hadn't realized how much time I spend reading other blogs and writing my own posts. But I also missed the connection I have with friends and family through blogs. So if you had a baby or got a publishing deal in the past month, I'm sorry I missed hearing about it, and forgive me for not going back and reading all the posts I missed. That would kind of defeat the purpose of the hiatus.

In the next few weeks, I'll be sharing some new reading lists, spazzing out about writing efforts and maybe posting something worth-while along the way.

So welcome back, fellow bloggers. I look forward to what the next month has to bring.